Time to Get my (insert swear word here) Priorities Figured Out

I’m so pissed at myself for being so selfish. My jealousy is the last thing that is important or even very remotely relevant. I’m still so scared. But I’m not going to let it show at school anymore. I’m going to be stronger for Katie and Dylan.

Anyway, this next bit is mainly directed at Katie when she reads it. I was going to talk to you about it at school this morning but more important things came up. Anyway, it doesn’t matter, as long as you get the message-

Don’t be worried about our relationship. I’m going to stay your friend forever, whether you like it or not. So I’m afraid that you don’t have a choice, you’re stuck with me. And anyway, we’ve got more worrying stuff to think about. We can sort this out after this is all over.
And I trust you as much as I ever have. It’s just that if I tell you my problems, you’re going to be worried about those as well. And the last thing that I want is for you to be more worried. AND WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF! You worry about yourself, Dylan worries about himself and the rest of our group worry about you both. So you both get a whole heap of people looking out for you both and worrying about you. See how it works? Happy now? Just worry about yourself before Dylan.
And you don’t have to fret about being torn between me and Dylan. It shouldn’t matter to either of us who you love more. As long as you love me to some degree, I’m completely happy. And Dylan needs you more than me at the moment. Love him more, he needs it. He needs it so much. I know that you love me, and I’m pretty sure that you will never leave me unless I truly deserve it and that’s all I’m worried about. But I don’t know what Dylan thinks. He might need someone to love him the most. And the best person for that is you, Katie. So do what you think is right. Don’t be torn between me and Dylan. It is obvious who needs you most at the moment.
Kill my livelihood?! Is that even possible?! It will never leave me and I will never leave you. See? Problem solved.

So yes, now to some more general stuff-

I printed out Katie’s last post on her blog coz I wanted to read it over and over again for some weird reason. And anyway, I let Mit and Sirk read it as well and then Dylan wanted to read it but I wasn’t sure. And then I let him read it at lunch and he went all upset and walked off by himself. Of course I went with him, I was too scared/worried not to. Mit came as well. So Dylan said that Katie being upset was all his fault, which it obviously isn’t. So when we eventually got back to the corner, he was still all sad so I suggested that we all go to the back fields and muck around like we always do. He agreed so our whole group went out and I think that this cheered him up. We stole his shoes and tickled the bottom of his feet and then poked him under the ribs which tickles him and just generally had fun. He seemed a lot happier going back at the end of lunch. I really hope that we put him in a better mood. I’m so very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very worried about him.
And I’m very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very worried about Katie as well.

Anyway, I am happy that Dylan feels better.

OK I’m going to go now. I’m going to try and enjoy what’s left of my Friday arvo (despite still being scared out of my wits) with NO TESTS TO STUDY 4 YAY!!!!!!!!

Cya
Rhoddie

P.S. There is something that is still nagging at the back of my mind. Something which I felt really passionately about today but I can’t quite remember what it was… It was something which got me really… angry I think. But I’m absolutely sure it wasn’t at one of my friends. At someone else…. Anyway, I’ll post when I figure it out.