At the moment I feel crap. Wanna know why? Well…
I feel bad because Katie feels bad
I feel bad because I’m worried about Katie
I feel bad because I’m also worried about Dylan
I feel bad because everyone in our group seems to be talking about someone else behind their backs
I feel bad because I completely lost it and yelled at Squirrel today (guy in my group who is supposedly what I’d be like if I was a male) and I shouldn’t of
I feel bad because of my jealousy
I feel bad because I’ve shown my jealousy
I feel bad because I think I’ve made Katie feel worse
I feel bad because I won’t see Katie again until Monday
I feel bad because I fail at debating (see previous post)
I feel bad because I’m worried about Katie (yes I know that I’ve already said this), and Dylan too
I feel bad because I don’t know how I can support Katie more
I feel bad because I don’t think that I’m supporting Katie enough (these last two go for Dylan as well, but mainly Katie)
I feel bad because I almost cried in I.A today
I feel bad because I feel sorry for Mit and what he’s been through
I feel bad because I’m so over this whole situation
I feel bad because I’m being selfish
I feel bad because a ten year old who has just started gymnastics has achieved more than I have in the six (almost seven) years that I’ve been doing it for
I feel bad because it seems like no matter how hard I try at something I’m never going to be good at it
I feel bad because the Christmas holidays are coming up. This is half good because, well, obviously, it’s this holidays! But the bad half (and quite a large half at that) is that I don’t get to see my friends for far too long.
And I feel bad because I’m worried about Katie (yes again)
I feel bad because I feel guilty for feeling bad because Katie and Dylan are much more important and I should be thinking about why they feel bad rather than why I feel bad and I also feel guilty because I’ve really got nothing that bad to feel bad about compared to various other people (eg. Some of my other friends (Brian, you know who you are) people a lot worse off than me (people with cancer, people in third world countries who are dying of famine))
So yes, glad I’ve got that out of my system.
One good thing about my life right now is that I’VE GOT TAEKWONDO TONIGHT! Time to let some of my frustration out. Whoever I’m doing free sparring against better watch out. I hope its Adam (my instructor). He sometimes joins in and I like sparring against him.
Oh yes, another thing that I feel bad about is that I miss writing. For those of you that don’t know yet, I’m writing a book and I haven’t been able to do anything on it recently and it’s amazing how much I miss it.
See ya
Rhoddie
P.S Good luck at debating you guys
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I could never have told you almost cried in IA. You seemed so happy most of the time through it!
But that's me, blind as the fridge.
Poor Katie. Almost everyone is bitching about her behind her back - and straight to her face - and it's driving me insane! They can't see how much worse they're making it!
Like see how lunch ended up. Katie cried, Squirrel went off at Katie, you went off at Squirrel, Mit went off in a mood ...
This is seriously getting stuffed up. And it hurts like hell to just stand there and watch. I'm too shy and scared to say anything. But there's the thing ... there seems to be nothing to do ...
Anyways, *hug*
Hope you start feeling good about something soon, R :)
Yeah, I almost cried in the first half of IA when I had my back 2 u. Almost.
Blind as the fridge? Where did that expression come from? lol.
Right, next time someone bitches at Katie I’m gonna f^*%$ing bite their f#@^ing heads off. I’m f*@!ing sick of it.
Ok, here’s a tip. Until recently I never thought that I could go off at someone like I have been recently. And the way it happens is just you let it all out. Everything. SO next time you want to hav a spaz at someone just give it all to them. I mean everything. Go all out. Don’t kind of half do it. So hopes that kind of helps with ur shyness problem.
Oh yes the helplessness thing… I want to show you something tomorrow. It’s something that I drew on the weekend.
I’m feeling slightly better after Taekwondo. It’s an escape from the real world. I can just do it anytime and let everything out into it. Its even better at classes with everyone else coz then we can do free sparring and that really makes me feel heaps better. I was veresing this little guy called Jack, who is a blue belt and it was so good coz he’s really good at sparring.
Anyway, I’ll see u tomorrow.
Lotsa luv
Rhoddie
I didn't want to say blind as a bat. Too cliche. The next thing I thought of was fridge.
So, see ya tomorrow then.
Post a Comment