It’s amazing how much a person’s mood can change within a few days. Especially if that person is a teenager. A few days ago I was on top of the world, but now I feel like crap.
I’m not quite sure of the real reason I feel this bad. Maybe it’s because Katie was thinking about suicide again last night. Maybe it’s because Dylan has been forgiven (he was being horrible to Katie because he was saying that he didn’t care about her problems) by Katie and I haven’t completely forgiven him yet and I feel that I should have. Maybe it’s because I feel like even though I try everything I can, and give it my all, I’m still not as close to one of my friends as someone who has just betrayed them. Maybe it’s because Katie isn’t going to be here next week. And maybe this is all enhanced by the fact that I’m soooo tired because I didn’t get a decent night’s sleep last night. That’s because I kept having nightmares. About Katie. Trying it again and succeeding. You know what I’m talking about.
I’m going to go now. I’ve got to get ready for gym.
Oh yes. Before I do go, I would just like to say how much I love Tae Kwon-Do and Gymnastics. They are like these awesome, pure things and when you do them, and are concentrating on them, you are free from the real world and what a cruel, scary place it is. They make me feel like because that they exist, everything is going to be Ok, and everything isn’t that bad, and that as long as they exist, there will be goodness and pureness and stuff in the world.
Anyway, cya
About Me
- Miss Girl
- Well I'm medium height and blonde. I've got 2 little brothers, and a large group of friens at school. I play the flute, do gymnastics and Taekwondo (Gym and TKD are a sort of heaven on Earth for me) and umpire netball. I love plyaing any type of team sport apart from maybe volleyball. Bad memories.
1 comment:
Trust me, R, I know how mood swings feel. I can do them in less than a second, and that gets REALLY confusing. I don't even know how it's possible ...
And this being tired crap? I've never been so tired in my life. And I've felt this way for freaking weeks now.
Why does no-one tell me anything? Like K contemplating suicide? Or D being horrid to K?
I was at some presentation night thing for my sisters earlier, and it got me remembering how I saw the world a couple of years ago, when I was about to leave primary school. I can't believe some of it - like life couldn't get any worse (I'd not long been diagnosed with t1 diabetes, and left a school about a year and a quarter earlier, so I was leaving friends AGAIN so quickly after the pain of losing others ...). Like life couldn't get any more complicated. That sort of thing.
How on EARTH could I have been so naiive?
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