OK. I really need to talk about some stuff.
No I dont coz Katie can read this blog can't she? So, yes, I am upset about some stuff at the moment and I want to talk to you (Katie) about it but Im not going to. Coz youve got enough to worry about with your problems and Dylan's problems heaped on top of you as well. Plus, my problems are alot less important atm.
Well, anyway, I was going to write some more but anyway... since Katie is able to read this...
There has been another fight in our group. See Brian's blog and Stuchy's (Katie's) blog as well coz I really cant be bothered to write it again. Anyway, I really dont know wat to do any more. I guess its that helplessness feeling again. Im going to try and talk to both of them bout this tomorrow coz we really dont need another fight in our group at the moment.
Oh yes, and Mute isn't talking to anyone. He usually does (coz hes not really mute u idiot) hes just one of the quieter ones in our group, but when i say hello to him or ask him something he usually replies. But he wouldnt talk to anyone today. This frustrates me kind of because how am i supposed to help him if i dont know wat the problem is.
Grrr want to talk about some of my other problems but... no i wont. For Katie.
Anyway GTG.
Oh yeah ITS MY BDAY TOMORROW! There is 3hrs and 22mins left!
Cya
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6 comments:
R,
Don't not write things just because I can read it. This is your blog and you can put anything you want to on it. So write. Coz it makes me feel really bad when i know that youre not telling me stuff. Worse than what I feel after you tell me things. At the moment I feel that you cannot trust me or something.
Why don't you just tell me things anyway? Am I not responsible or trustworthy enough? What is my problem? We are meant to be best friends, but we have to keep an open relationship. At the moment it's nothing like that.
So are we still best friends or what? I'm trying my best at the moment, but you have to put in your part too. Just because i have depression it does not mean I'm disabled or anything. So why don't you tell me stuff anymore?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPH!
and i hope u lyk that orange thing i gave u. apparently its called a batta batta (dont ask me, dad calls them that).
yeh mute is quieter ... tho i can really say anything can i?
ugh me being so quiet frustrates the hell outa me. but its become me - i dont know what to say, i feel more comfortable quiet (lyk to think that anyway) and now people seem to think of me as not having anything to say, so when i do want to say something im talked over.
i dunno ... i should stop talking about myself.
all this fighting i our group is starting to get to me. maybe we really need the christmas holidays. or maybe theyll make it worse ...
ok im going before i work myself up too much more.
The whole talking thing is my position also......
And of course happy birthday to Rhod, and wishes to Stuchy and Dylan and Mute. Well should go so I can get to maths. See you...
Katie, I’m soooooooooooo sorry. I don’t mean to keep secrets from you, Id tell you anything, you know that… its just… I don’t want you to feel worse. Coz I don’t want you to think that somehow its your fault. But also… Im really ashamed of what I feel. I’m being a really bad friend by being like this and I try to forget about it but… anyway, I still feel it no matter how much I want it to go away. How much I know that I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I feel… Ok I’ll just say. I still feel jealous. Of Dylan. Of how he is a closer friend to you than I am. Of how he knows you so well and it feels like I don’t any more coz I have taken our friendship for granted up until now or something. Like I didn’t realise how much it meant up till now. Im jealous.
Anyway, weve got to talk about this in person tomorrow. WEVE GOT TO.
And are u feeling any better about the Mit thing now? U know how he wouldn’t even show u the respect of giving u an answer and how I yelled at him for it? Well if Dylan hadn’t come and sat next to me and told me to calm down I would of punched him. Black belt or no black belt, I would have punched him. I wasn’t just thinking about punching him, I knew that I actually would of. So if ur reading this Mit, you can thank Dylan for that.
So if u read this Katie, plz txt me coz im really worried about u and I really want to talk to you about this…
Argh. Im so pissed at myself for this. I thought that I was a better friend than this anyway Ill c u tomorrow.
And Im so sorry for killing our relationship. I would have been more open but I didnt want to make u feel bad. U know that diagram I did today? The backpack thing? Well I didn’t want to give u more of a load with ur stuff and Dylans stuff and then my stuff on top of it but I cant help talking about this now. Its like killing my soul. So yes, this is what has been bugging me for the past god knows how long.
C u 2morrow
Luv ya
Rhoddie
:(
today was so bad
i cried a couple of times - it broke me watching you cry R, it really did. and just everything seems so messed up and hopeless ...
i couldve punched mit myself today for what he did to odog.
*sigh*
i HAD high hopes for today ...
things are seriously stuffed.
yeah tel me about it
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