I am going to kill that f*@#$ing b#$tard for wat he has done 2 Katie. And to his son, Dylan.
Right, I am so f@#$%ing angry and pissed of at Dylan’s f$#%ing dad right now. I swear, if I ever meet him, the exchange will go something like this-
Dylan’s dad- Hello
Me- Hello. I am Rhoddie. How are you today?
Dylan’s dad- I’m very well thanks. And you?
Me- Not that good actually.
*WHACK! KABLAMOW! SMASH! POW! WHACK! SMASH! WHACK!*
(that was me beating him up btw)
Me- Now I’m much better!
Dylan’s dad- Groan.
Ok, that seems to have relieved a little stress. So, here’s what has happened… I think.
Katie rang Dylan up and Dylan’s dad answered. As he was passing the phone to Dylan, Katie heard him say- ‘If she mentions anything about depression, hang up straight away.’
It’s easy to see he’s never had to deal with depression before in his life! What did he think, the convo would go something like-
Katie- Hello Dylan.
Dylan- Hello Katie.
Katie- So…. how’s depression going?
Plus, even if she had wanted to talk about it, how did he think that it would make her feel? She rings up, looking for someone to turn to, to help her, and she gets hung up on! I can understand that Dylan’s dad is just trying to protect him, but could we please think about this? I know it’s the holidays, and most people’s brains have gone on vacation (namely mine. This morning, while trying to heat milk up to pour over my cereal, I managed to put the mug in the microwave and heat it up without any milk in it). Where was I? Oh yeah! I know most people’s brains have gone on vacation, but could we seriously consider other people’s feelings? F*$#%ing b#@%ard. I’ll f*$%ing murder him.
So I rang Katie up but I don’t think I managed to put her in a better mood coz I think she was still crying a bit at the end of the convo. Hopefully her family can cheer her up. I also texted Dylan telling him to txt Katie and cheer her up.
Oh yeah! Another reason why Dylan’s dad is my new enemy. Get this, he called Dylan being depressed, emotional weakness. Hang on, need to shout out swear words at the top of my voice.
Ok. Better. He seriously needs to get a grip on the current situation. Emotional weakness, wat a load of bull plop. Does he even know wat depression is? IT IS A F%$#ING ILLNESS YOU F%&*ING IDIOT, NOT A FLIPPIN WEAKNESS!!!!!!
Note to self, yell at Dylan’s dad. See if I can get the message through to him. Maybe volume might have some effect on him.
Oh yes! DYALAN REPLIED! =D =D I’ve been soooooo worried about him. He replied to that txt I sent him last night so I was soooooo relieved when he replied. He seemed to be in a good mood. I don’t know how long it will last with a dad like that around though. F&*$%ing b$#%tard. I was going to call him and tell him off over the phone but Katie wouldn’t give me Dylan’s home phone number. Ah well, I’ll get it some other way. And mark my words when I say this-
I will not forget about this, I will not let it slide, I will not let him get away with it, I will not leave the score unsettled, I WILL GET HIM BACK. No one, I repeat, NO ONE upsets my friends and get away with it, as I have made very clear in the past.
So, to finish off, cheer up Katie! So, one idiot who has really no clue about wat u and Dylan are going through isn’t that fond of you. So what? It isn’t going to make Dylan like you less, or care about you any less, is it? Coz wat u hav got 2 remember is, Dylan isn’t his Dad. He does care about you, and he does want to talk to you and he does understand about depression, even if his dad doesn’t. And trust me wen I say this, if that f&*#ing b#@$ard (meaning Dylan’s dad) gets in between u and Dylan, I will find out Dylan’s home number, and I will call his dad and I will yell so loud at him everyone who is in the house will have their ear drums burst (except Dylan coz I would have forewarned him about this so he will be wearing earmuffs).
I’ll call u some time tomorrow (Katie). Well, actually, it depends on wen u read this coz u see, I’m typing this in a word document on my laptop so I’m going to post it 2morrow morning some time so technically, I’ll ring u some time today.
Anyway, c u ppl.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas and Other Miscellaneous Stuff
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE… for yesterday.
OMG. Yesterday was such an awesome day. And OMG, guess what! My parents, gave me, A NEW PHONE *squeal*. I could hardly believe it when I opened it. You know how in cartoons when the characters open their mouths in surprise and their jaws drop all the way down to the floor and their eyes bulge out? Well I’m pretty sure that is exactly what I looked like when I opened it. I seriously couldn’t believe it. A phone?! DO you know how much those things cost? A lot. It’s a slidey phone. WITH A CAMERA! My current phone doesn’t have a camera. Or blue tooth. Or anything else awesome. SO I was so happy when I got a new one. =D
Anyway, also for Christmas I got a lot of books, two music CDs, a packet of sour straps and various other chocolate and a lot of other awesome things that I really can’t be bothered to type out, but it was really AWESOME!
And then for lunch and the rest of the arvo me and my family headed off to the grandparent’s place, and that was also AWESOME! My grandma had done up the table for lunch soooooooo nice. For each place at the table, everyone had a name thingy to show them where to sit, a cracker, a scratchie (I won $2 on mine and my grandma won $6) and a lucky seat number. So, my grandma being the awesome grandma she is, had some awesome starters as wel. Ok, so get this, she had a choice of either prawns or spring rolls, and she had them, wait for it……. Wait for it……. in shells! She had these massive shells and she had lettuce and the spring rolls/prawns sitting on top! I t looked soooo nice! And then we had the main course which was, needless to say, delicious. My grandma is an excellent cook. AND SHE MADE THE POTATO BAKE! =D I love my grandma’s potato bake! =D And then for desert she made trifle and chocolate but unfortunately I could only have a little bit of trifle because I was sooooo full. Has anyone seen that Monty Python sketch where there is this guy at a restaurant and he’s eaten soooo much and then the waiter talks him into having an after dinner mint so he eats it and then explodes? Well, that’s how I felt.
So then we pulled the crackers and read out the jokes which were terrible even by my standards and we did the scratchies and the lucky seat prize. And then we opened the other prezzies and then we talked and stuff a bit more and then we went home. SO it was an awesome day. =D
Well, the day bit was awesome. And part of the night was awesome as well coz we played around with our prezzies and then Katie called me (she got back from Samoa) despite basically falling asleep as we were talking on the phone, so I really appreciated that and it made my day that bit more awesome. But then came the other part of the night. The part which I have been dreading for a while now. The lying in bed bit trying to get to sleep but not being able to because my subconscious decides to put me through the torture of making me thing about… stuff. I tell myself stories, of Katie cutting herself, and… and committing…. I can’t type it. But last night it didn’t start out about Katie. It started about Dylan. About getting this phone call in the middle of the hols from the police, telling me what had happened. Collapsing on the floor crying like I’ve never cried before. And then the story switched to Katie. Her in the middle of the night… because all this was too much for her…
So because I couldn’t sleep, at like, 11:30 last night I txted Dylan begging him to reply or to txt/call Katie so we knew that he was OK. I kept checking my phone every 2mins from then on to see if he had replied, which was pretty unlikely considering the time, but I couldn’t help myself. I ended up putting my phone in one of the draws in my desk so I could get to sleep. I haven’t checked it for about 45mins, so he might of replied. I’ll check it after I’ve finished typing this.
And so, to end on a more positive note, Odog’s party is coming up soon. A fancy dress scavenger hunt along in a public, busy area. I think I might go as a ladybug if my old costume still fits. Anyone else got any ideas?
So I’m going to go check my phone and figure out a costume.
Lotsa love,
Rhoddie (and that CAN BE a chick’s name)
OMG. Yesterday was such an awesome day. And OMG, guess what! My parents, gave me, A NEW PHONE *squeal*. I could hardly believe it when I opened it. You know how in cartoons when the characters open their mouths in surprise and their jaws drop all the way down to the floor and their eyes bulge out? Well I’m pretty sure that is exactly what I looked like when I opened it. I seriously couldn’t believe it. A phone?! DO you know how much those things cost? A lot. It’s a slidey phone. WITH A CAMERA! My current phone doesn’t have a camera. Or blue tooth. Or anything else awesome. SO I was so happy when I got a new one. =D
Anyway, also for Christmas I got a lot of books, two music CDs, a packet of sour straps and various other chocolate and a lot of other awesome things that I really can’t be bothered to type out, but it was really AWESOME!
And then for lunch and the rest of the arvo me and my family headed off to the grandparent’s place, and that was also AWESOME! My grandma had done up the table for lunch soooooooo nice. For each place at the table, everyone had a name thingy to show them where to sit, a cracker, a scratchie (I won $2 on mine and my grandma won $6) and a lucky seat number. So, my grandma being the awesome grandma she is, had some awesome starters as wel. Ok, so get this, she had a choice of either prawns or spring rolls, and she had them, wait for it……. Wait for it……. in shells! She had these massive shells and she had lettuce and the spring rolls/prawns sitting on top! I t looked soooo nice! And then we had the main course which was, needless to say, delicious. My grandma is an excellent cook. AND SHE MADE THE POTATO BAKE! =D I love my grandma’s potato bake! =D And then for desert she made trifle and chocolate but unfortunately I could only have a little bit of trifle because I was sooooo full. Has anyone seen that Monty Python sketch where there is this guy at a restaurant and he’s eaten soooo much and then the waiter talks him into having an after dinner mint so he eats it and then explodes? Well, that’s how I felt.
So then we pulled the crackers and read out the jokes which were terrible even by my standards and we did the scratchies and the lucky seat prize. And then we opened the other prezzies and then we talked and stuff a bit more and then we went home. SO it was an awesome day. =D
Well, the day bit was awesome. And part of the night was awesome as well coz we played around with our prezzies and then Katie called me (she got back from Samoa) despite basically falling asleep as we were talking on the phone, so I really appreciated that and it made my day that bit more awesome. But then came the other part of the night. The part which I have been dreading for a while now. The lying in bed bit trying to get to sleep but not being able to because my subconscious decides to put me through the torture of making me thing about… stuff. I tell myself stories, of Katie cutting herself, and… and committing…. I can’t type it. But last night it didn’t start out about Katie. It started about Dylan. About getting this phone call in the middle of the hols from the police, telling me what had happened. Collapsing on the floor crying like I’ve never cried before. And then the story switched to Katie. Her in the middle of the night… because all this was too much for her…
So because I couldn’t sleep, at like, 11:30 last night I txted Dylan begging him to reply or to txt/call Katie so we knew that he was OK. I kept checking my phone every 2mins from then on to see if he had replied, which was pretty unlikely considering the time, but I couldn’t help myself. I ended up putting my phone in one of the draws in my desk so I could get to sleep. I haven’t checked it for about 45mins, so he might of replied. I’ll check it after I’ve finished typing this.
And so, to end on a more positive note, Odog’s party is coming up soon. A fancy dress scavenger hunt along in a public, busy area. I think I might go as a ladybug if my old costume still fits. Anyone else got any ideas?
So I’m going to go check my phone and figure out a costume.
Lotsa love,
Rhoddie (and that CAN BE a chick’s name)
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Loyalty and Respect
I wrote this in a word documant last night but didn't get a chance to post it so I'll do it now-
Grrrrr. I’m so annoyed with my dad atm. It’s like he’s determined to prove that my school is really crap.
So at dinner he was going on how about how crap the assembly was. How the opening party was just being pompous and stupid by walking in and having the band play. He said that it was a stupid tradition and that they should already be seated when everyone else comes in. I wish that he could get through his head a sense of this little thing called respect. Us standing and waiting for them to come in is a sign of us respecting them.
And then he was saying how my school (which is academically selective) must be making the kids worse. Our principal was saying how all of our senior students for their exams and stuff got in the top two bands. He said that they should be getting in the top band only.
And then he was saying how the teachers were probably being lazy because they thought that they wouldn’t have to try as much to teach the kids stuff because they were already smart. If he saw, how hard our teachers had to work, to make sure that the work we had was keeping us busy, then he would never say that again.
He just pisses me off sooo much when he so unloyal. I am so loyal to my school, and when someone just calls it basically a crap place with lazy teachers who make the students’ results worse, I get so pissed off! =Z I’m just so frustrated with him! =Z
Where’s his sense of respect? Where’s his sense of loyalty? I don’t know where I got mine from, but it was definetly not from him! =Z =Z
Anyway gtg. Got to go to gym.
Grrrrr. I’m so annoyed with my dad atm. It’s like he’s determined to prove that my school is really crap.
So at dinner he was going on how about how crap the assembly was. How the opening party was just being pompous and stupid by walking in and having the band play. He said that it was a stupid tradition and that they should already be seated when everyone else comes in. I wish that he could get through his head a sense of this little thing called respect. Us standing and waiting for them to come in is a sign of us respecting them.
And then he was saying how my school (which is academically selective) must be making the kids worse. Our principal was saying how all of our senior students for their exams and stuff got in the top two bands. He said that they should be getting in the top band only.
And then he was saying how the teachers were probably being lazy because they thought that they wouldn’t have to try as much to teach the kids stuff because they were already smart. If he saw, how hard our teachers had to work, to make sure that the work we had was keeping us busy, then he would never say that again.
He just pisses me off sooo much when he so unloyal. I am so loyal to my school, and when someone just calls it basically a crap place with lazy teachers who make the students’ results worse, I get so pissed off! =Z I’m just so frustrated with him! =Z
Where’s his sense of respect? Where’s his sense of loyalty? I don’t know where I got mine from, but it was definetly not from him! =Z =Z
Anyway gtg. Got to go to gym.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Gotta be Somebody
Gotta Be Somebody Lyrics- Nickleback
This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
We'll play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my own breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with
`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go in on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And damn it this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there'
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go in on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
You can´t give up!
When you're lookin´ for that diamond in the rough
Because you never know but when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There has gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.
Nobody wants to go in on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There has gotta be somebody for me out there.
This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
We'll play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my own breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with
`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go in on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And damn it this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there'
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go in on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
You can´t give up!
When you're lookin´ for that diamond in the rough
Because you never know but when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There has gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.
Nobody wants to go in on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There has gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Confused
It’s amazing how much a person’s mood can change within a few days. Especially if that person is a teenager. A few days ago I was on top of the world, but now I feel like crap.
I’m not quite sure of the real reason I feel this bad. Maybe it’s because Katie was thinking about suicide again last night. Maybe it’s because Dylan has been forgiven (he was being horrible to Katie because he was saying that he didn’t care about her problems) by Katie and I haven’t completely forgiven him yet and I feel that I should have. Maybe it’s because I feel like even though I try everything I can, and give it my all, I’m still not as close to one of my friends as someone who has just betrayed them. Maybe it’s because Katie isn’t going to be here next week. And maybe this is all enhanced by the fact that I’m soooo tired because I didn’t get a decent night’s sleep last night. That’s because I kept having nightmares. About Katie. Trying it again and succeeding. You know what I’m talking about.
I’m going to go now. I’ve got to get ready for gym.
Oh yes. Before I do go, I would just like to say how much I love Tae Kwon-Do and Gymnastics. They are like these awesome, pure things and when you do them, and are concentrating on them, you are free from the real world and what a cruel, scary place it is. They make me feel like because that they exist, everything is going to be Ok, and everything isn’t that bad, and that as long as they exist, there will be goodness and pureness and stuff in the world.
Anyway, cya
I’m not quite sure of the real reason I feel this bad. Maybe it’s because Katie was thinking about suicide again last night. Maybe it’s because Dylan has been forgiven (he was being horrible to Katie because he was saying that he didn’t care about her problems) by Katie and I haven’t completely forgiven him yet and I feel that I should have. Maybe it’s because I feel like even though I try everything I can, and give it my all, I’m still not as close to one of my friends as someone who has just betrayed them. Maybe it’s because Katie isn’t going to be here next week. And maybe this is all enhanced by the fact that I’m soooo tired because I didn’t get a decent night’s sleep last night. That’s because I kept having nightmares. About Katie. Trying it again and succeeding. You know what I’m talking about.
I’m going to go now. I’ve got to get ready for gym.
Oh yes. Before I do go, I would just like to say how much I love Tae Kwon-Do and Gymnastics. They are like these awesome, pure things and when you do them, and are concentrating on them, you are free from the real world and what a cruel, scary place it is. They make me feel like because that they exist, everything is going to be Ok, and everything isn’t that bad, and that as long as they exist, there will be goodness and pureness and stuff in the world.
Anyway, cya
Sunday, December 7, 2008
YAY!!!
TODAY WAS AN AWESOME, AWESOME DAY!!!!!!!! =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
BECAUSE KATIE, MIT AND DYLAN CAME BACK TO THE GROUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
So I’m in a good mood. A really good mood. Mit is a good friend, and he’s sooooooooo much fun to have around and Dylan isn’t exactly bad company, is he? And Katie… KATIE IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
This morning I bit Dylan’s head off. Why? Because he was complaining about Katie. I should have been a bit gentler, but I really can’t stand it when someone says bad things about my friends. Especially when that friend isn’t there at the time. And that really pisses me off. And especially with Katie. One of the best friends I’ve ever had. I just couldn’t help myself I guess. Oh well. I think that he has gotten over it.
Also, something which has been kind of confusing/worrying me, is why Katie doesn’t tell me what’s wrong anymore. I really don’t know why. Maybe it’s coz… I don’t know, I really have no clue.
So anyway, I’m going to get onto this going away prezzie I’m making for Katie. The lucky thing, she gets to go to Somoa! =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D Hopefully it’ll give her a break from the… the… ohh! I know! Hopefully it’ll give her a break from the movie that is our lives. ‘Why a movie?’ I hear you ask yourself. Well a movie because atm we’re in the bit of the movie that is all bad, and scary, and confusing, and frightening and worrying and stuff. But it’s like a movie, because you always know that it is going to have a happy ending, and it’ll all be good eventually.
But anyway, with that awesome concluding… thing, I shall leave. See ya!
P.S Also Sonja was here for the second half of the day! =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
P.P.S Mit and Odog (or whatever we call him on here) have stopped fighting today! Thus ending World War III. YAY! =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
BECAUSE KATIE, MIT AND DYLAN CAME BACK TO THE GROUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
So I’m in a good mood. A really good mood. Mit is a good friend, and he’s sooooooooo much fun to have around and Dylan isn’t exactly bad company, is he? And Katie… KATIE IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
This morning I bit Dylan’s head off. Why? Because he was complaining about Katie. I should have been a bit gentler, but I really can’t stand it when someone says bad things about my friends. Especially when that friend isn’t there at the time. And that really pisses me off. And especially with Katie. One of the best friends I’ve ever had. I just couldn’t help myself I guess. Oh well. I think that he has gotten over it.
Also, something which has been kind of confusing/worrying me, is why Katie doesn’t tell me what’s wrong anymore. I really don’t know why. Maybe it’s coz… I don’t know, I really have no clue.
So anyway, I’m going to get onto this going away prezzie I’m making for Katie. The lucky thing, she gets to go to Somoa! =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D Hopefully it’ll give her a break from the… the… ohh! I know! Hopefully it’ll give her a break from the movie that is our lives. ‘Why a movie?’ I hear you ask yourself. Well a movie because atm we’re in the bit of the movie that is all bad, and scary, and confusing, and frightening and worrying and stuff. But it’s like a movie, because you always know that it is going to have a happy ending, and it’ll all be good eventually.
But anyway, with that awesome concluding… thing, I shall leave. See ya!
P.S Also Sonja was here for the second half of the day! =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
P.P.S Mit and Odog (or whatever we call him on here) have stopped fighting today! Thus ending World War III. YAY! =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Party Time
I had my Bday party today! It was awesome! I got heaps of great prezzies so thanks to all of my friends for that! And also a special thanks to Katie for her card. It meant so much to me =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D
But also I think it was sad for some people. It turns out that Mute has depression=C The poor thing. He seemed kind of sad and stuff and was sitting by himself in the corner of the pool (I had my party at an indoor swimming centre) so I tried to cheer him up and stuff but I don’t know if it did an good.
Also, Boofhead, who has recently rejoined our group, was crying at lunch (fish and chips, yummo). I went and gave him a hug and he said that he had had a bad experience with pools. I assumed that he didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t go into it.
And at the end, something was wrong with Katie, but she wouldn’t tell me what it was. And then I texted her and wouldn’t drop it, which I think kind of pissed her off, so I’m sorry about that Katie. But anyway, she told me what was bugging her, but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say it on here so I won’t just in case. Anyway, she told me what was wrong, but not why the circumstances occurred. Which is fine by me. I get so scared when there is something wrong and she doesn’t tell me about it. It makes me think that she’s going to try… something. You know what I’m talking about. But as long as she’s OK. You are ok, aren’t you Katie (if you’re reading this)? Don’t let whatever happened get you down. I’m sure it can be easily sorted out; whatever happened… well I’m not sure, because I don’t know what happened, but anyway… I’ll just stop typing this sentence now before I manage to make it any worse.
But overall, it was a pretty good day for me. I got to muck around with my friends, and I especially enjoyed the company of Dylan, Katie and Mit, who I haven’t had a chance to muck around with recently. I really miss all three of them. But anyway, I’m sure that they’ll come back eventually. And I enjoyed seeing Mute as well, who has been staying home so he can stay away form the stress for a while, which is probably a very very very good idea.
K gtg now. Teas ready.
Cya
Rhoddie
But also I think it was sad for some people. It turns out that Mute has depression=C The poor thing. He seemed kind of sad and stuff and was sitting by himself in the corner of the pool (I had my party at an indoor swimming centre) so I tried to cheer him up and stuff but I don’t know if it did an good.
Also, Boofhead, who has recently rejoined our group, was crying at lunch (fish and chips, yummo). I went and gave him a hug and he said that he had had a bad experience with pools. I assumed that he didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t go into it.
And at the end, something was wrong with Katie, but she wouldn’t tell me what it was. And then I texted her and wouldn’t drop it, which I think kind of pissed her off, so I’m sorry about that Katie. But anyway, she told me what was bugging her, but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say it on here so I won’t just in case. Anyway, she told me what was wrong, but not why the circumstances occurred. Which is fine by me. I get so scared when there is something wrong and she doesn’t tell me about it. It makes me think that she’s going to try… something. You know what I’m talking about. But as long as she’s OK. You are ok, aren’t you Katie (if you’re reading this)? Don’t let whatever happened get you down. I’m sure it can be easily sorted out; whatever happened… well I’m not sure, because I don’t know what happened, but anyway… I’ll just stop typing this sentence now before I manage to make it any worse.
But overall, it was a pretty good day for me. I got to muck around with my friends, and I especially enjoyed the company of Dylan, Katie and Mit, who I haven’t had a chance to muck around with recently. I really miss all three of them. But anyway, I’m sure that they’ll come back eventually. And I enjoyed seeing Mute as well, who has been staying home so he can stay away form the stress for a while, which is probably a very very very good idea.
K gtg now. Teas ready.
Cya
Rhoddie
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
My Nightmare
Its happened. She’s gone. From our friendship group.
I had to take the friendship bracelet she gave me off today. I kept crying every time I looked at it.
At lunch I decided that I couldn’t live without her anymore so I went to the quad to try and convince her to come back. Of course I managed to somehow make it worse. And I made her cry. :’-C
But she’s still gone. I can’t seem to be able to think about anything else. Anything. And I know that I’m just being selfish. Because Katie is happy now. Which I’m glad of. But I still can’t help wishing that she wasn’t gone. I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to survive. But I guess I might be able to live off the too-short periods of IA and VA. But we’ll see.
But as long as she is happy. That’s all that really matters atm, isn’t it? So maybe that fact will help me get out of bed in the morning.
And hopefully one of my reoccurring nightmares will stop now. Because I’m living it.
And Katie, I’m sorry that I’ve been such a bad friend. I’d still do anything for you.
I had to take the friendship bracelet she gave me off today. I kept crying every time I looked at it.
At lunch I decided that I couldn’t live without her anymore so I went to the quad to try and convince her to come back. Of course I managed to somehow make it worse. And I made her cry. :’-C
But she’s still gone. I can’t seem to be able to think about anything else. Anything. And I know that I’m just being selfish. Because Katie is happy now. Which I’m glad of. But I still can’t help wishing that she wasn’t gone. I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to survive. But I guess I might be able to live off the too-short periods of IA and VA. But we’ll see.
But as long as she is happy. That’s all that really matters atm, isn’t it? So maybe that fact will help me get out of bed in the morning.
And hopefully one of my reoccurring nightmares will stop now. Because I’m living it.
And Katie, I’m sorry that I’ve been such a bad friend. I’d still do anything for you.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
...
I’m so miserable. I think that I feel as miserable as I have in my whole life. Or somewhere close to that. OK, I’ll write why I feel like this.
Mainly its because Katie was thinking about suicide again. She was going to do it after class a few days ago. And that’s why I bawled my eyes out twice today. In basketball and then at lunch.
And also I’m upset coz it seems like no one tells me what they’re feeling anymore. Like how Katie was going to try it again the other day? Why didn’t she trust me with that? Is it just coz I’m not close to her? I really don’t know. I just hate how no one will trust me. And I want to know why no one will trust me.
And that brings me to another thing. And just to make one thing very clear before I say this next part-
I KNOW THAT THIS IS REALLY SELFISH AND BEING A BAD FRIEND!!!!!
So, I still can’t seem to make myself get over the fact that Dylan is closer to Katie than I am. I would give up my life just to make her happy, I would do anything for her. I just… I just wish that I was close to her. Coz I don’t seem to be anymore. She doesn’t tell me stuff… I just wish that I wasn’t so different. I just wish that I knew what I could do to be closer to her. Ive tryed everything I can think of to be a better friend. I was thinking of giving up, I was going to just stop trying, but Katie means more to me than that. I'm never going to let my own emotions come before my friends, ever. So Im still going to try to be closer to her, even if it doesnt do anything.
Also, Im kind of confused why Mit isnt talking to me any more. Ive tried to support him and defend him the best that I can but he isnt talking to me now and I dont know what Ive done.
OK Im going now. Cya
Mainly its because Katie was thinking about suicide again. She was going to do it after class a few days ago. And that’s why I bawled my eyes out twice today. In basketball and then at lunch.
And also I’m upset coz it seems like no one tells me what they’re feeling anymore. Like how Katie was going to try it again the other day? Why didn’t she trust me with that? Is it just coz I’m not close to her? I really don’t know. I just hate how no one will trust me. And I want to know why no one will trust me.
And that brings me to another thing. And just to make one thing very clear before I say this next part-
I KNOW THAT THIS IS REALLY SELFISH AND BEING A BAD FRIEND!!!!!
So, I still can’t seem to make myself get over the fact that Dylan is closer to Katie than I am. I would give up my life just to make her happy, I would do anything for her. I just… I just wish that I was close to her. Coz I don’t seem to be anymore. She doesn’t tell me stuff… I just wish that I wasn’t so different. I just wish that I knew what I could do to be closer to her. Ive tryed everything I can think of to be a better friend. I was thinking of giving up, I was going to just stop trying, but Katie means more to me than that. I'm never going to let my own emotions come before my friends, ever. So Im still going to try to be closer to her, even if it doesnt do anything.
Also, Im kind of confused why Mit isnt talking to me any more. Ive tried to support him and defend him the best that I can but he isnt talking to me now and I dont know what Ive done.
OK Im going now. Cya
Monday, December 1, 2008
Argg Confusing
OK. I really need to talk about some stuff.
No I dont coz Katie can read this blog can't she? So, yes, I am upset about some stuff at the moment and I want to talk to you (Katie) about it but Im not going to. Coz youve got enough to worry about with your problems and Dylan's problems heaped on top of you as well. Plus, my problems are alot less important atm.
Well, anyway, I was going to write some more but anyway... since Katie is able to read this...
There has been another fight in our group. See Brian's blog and Stuchy's (Katie's) blog as well coz I really cant be bothered to write it again. Anyway, I really dont know wat to do any more. I guess its that helplessness feeling again. Im going to try and talk to both of them bout this tomorrow coz we really dont need another fight in our group at the moment.
Oh yes, and Mute isn't talking to anyone. He usually does (coz hes not really mute u idiot) hes just one of the quieter ones in our group, but when i say hello to him or ask him something he usually replies. But he wouldnt talk to anyone today. This frustrates me kind of because how am i supposed to help him if i dont know wat the problem is.
Grrr want to talk about some of my other problems but... no i wont. For Katie.
Anyway GTG.
Oh yeah ITS MY BDAY TOMORROW! There is 3hrs and 22mins left!
Cya
No I dont coz Katie can read this blog can't she? So, yes, I am upset about some stuff at the moment and I want to talk to you (Katie) about it but Im not going to. Coz youve got enough to worry about with your problems and Dylan's problems heaped on top of you as well. Plus, my problems are alot less important atm.
Well, anyway, I was going to write some more but anyway... since Katie is able to read this...
There has been another fight in our group. See Brian's blog and Stuchy's (Katie's) blog as well coz I really cant be bothered to write it again. Anyway, I really dont know wat to do any more. I guess its that helplessness feeling again. Im going to try and talk to both of them bout this tomorrow coz we really dont need another fight in our group at the moment.
Oh yes, and Mute isn't talking to anyone. He usually does (coz hes not really mute u idiot) hes just one of the quieter ones in our group, but when i say hello to him or ask him something he usually replies. But he wouldnt talk to anyone today. This frustrates me kind of because how am i supposed to help him if i dont know wat the problem is.
Grrr want to talk about some of my other problems but... no i wont. For Katie.
Anyway GTG.
Oh yeah ITS MY BDAY TOMORROW! There is 3hrs and 22mins left!
Cya
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